Wednesday, 24 September 2014

The End Game (part 2)

So I am trying to get it all right this time.  I am seeing this man out of my company as fast as I can, this time with the law and some tough people on my side advising me through it.

My lawyer advised me to disclose the challenge to my buyers, but also to offer to indemnify them against any suit that John may bring against my company.  I had a long chat to the MD who had a lot more insight onto my situation than I ever could have imagined. He has had his own horrible tussle with a Narcissistic business partner in the past and fully understands how destructive this kind of person can be.  He isn't thinking 'what kind of a Leader are you if you didn't see all this happening in your company?'  Instead he knows the depths to which these damaged people will stoop sometimes and is full of support for me.

Then I consulted my labour lawyer to see if John has a case.  The answer is 'No'.  Get rid of him immediately!  So I spent last night typing out my 'fuck right off' letter.  I've sent it to the labour lawyer for final rubber stamping, and then I pull the trigger tomorrow.  Here's the letter as it stands now (I know it still has some care in it -  cant bloody help myself)


I have taken legal opinion on this matter.

My response is as follows:

·         You and I agreed to part ways amicably in May: our dispute was related to the terms of that parting, not the parting itself.

·         You accepted the spirit of the parting:
o    you immediately converted your salary payments as an employee into that of a contractor: you instructed the financial team to remove you from the payroll run
o    you initiated and authorised full payments of xxxxx per month with no tax deductions
o    you told the financial staff you would be sending through invoices from the company you own, (although you haven’t to date submitted any)
o    you attended your own farewell function and staff prepared a moving farewell video

·         There is no doubt in my mind that you were fully aware and in agreement with the fact that you were no longer an employee.  To suggest otherwise is frivolous, quarrelsome and in bad faith.

In light of this frivolous correspondence, and other events and facts that have come to my notice since our agreement to part ways amicably in May, I am hereby terminating your contracting relationship with my company, effective immediately.  I no longer trust you to be part of any handover to new buyers as I believe you fully intend to contaminate that new relationship. Some of those facts and events involve the following:

·         Your aggressive and threatening behaviour towards me, despite me regularly reminding you that I am currently of fragile disposition and not able to defend myself from your bullying behaviour.

·         My discovery that you structured your salary, medical aid and car allowance package in such a way that over the 4.5 years you worked for my company you were overpaid in the region of 500k – 700k more than you and I agreed you would be paid. ( you dispute this number and are of the opinion that I owe you money).

·         My discovery that, after asking me to lend you the money to pay for a deposit on your house and costs for registering your house, which I agreed to do, you converted that loan into salary paid by getting our payroll consultant to structure your payslip to reflect you had been paid 640k in February this year!!! 
o    I brought it to you attention on numerous occasions.  You consistently declared it had been produced without your knowledge, and promised to correct ‘the error’. 
o    I sent an email asking you and the payroll consultant to correct ‘the error’: you didn’t.
o    Your most recent denial of any knowledge of this payslip was only 5 days ago – on the 18th of September– I told you that some people may construe this action as fraud: where you pay yourself a huge salary without the consent and signoff of the company main member.  You had no mandate to do this at all and you never consulted me or asked for my approval.  You told me again that you had nothing to do with it.
o    I have since investigated with the finance team and have been assured that not only was the payslip produced with your knowledge, it was produced under your express instruction, using calculations that you yourself created.  When the finance team members protested you assured them that this was a legitimate payment in terms of your contract.
o    Both the act of taking that money as a salary payment to yourself with no consent and the act of lying about your knowledge of it are fireable offences.

·         Your final aggressive threat towards me on 19 September: I told you on the 18th that you had crossed a line. Your threat, within the hearing of witnesses, was “I haven’t just crossed the line.  THIS is the STARTING LINE”.

The way forward:

·         Please hand over your Credit card and banking token immediately
·         Please prepare a full backup from your laptop of all company-related documents by Friday 26 September: please set it up with a filing system that makes it easy for me to retrieve the documents I need.

·         Your email address will be suspended with immediate effect. You will be able to liaise with IT guy to retrieve email that pertains to your personal activity. Nobody will access your email until you are happy that your personal correspondence has been removed by you. Please do not remove any company-related correspondence as I may need to access that in future.

·         As previously agreed, you are welcome to keep the laptop itself

·         You have until the 30 September to register your car in your own name.  Failure to do that will mean that the company will have to claim the car back and sell it to defray expenses.

·         You have until the 30 September to transfer your cell phone contract into your own name.

·         Please note that you are bound to maintain the confidentiality of company business: do not contact or communicate with clients, staff, associates or potential buyers.  All communication should be directed through me and I will involve relevant parties if necessary.

·         I will contact you about setting up a facilitated meeting where we try to resolve the dispute we have regarding money owed between yourself and the company. 

John, in spite of everything, it makes me incredibly sad to have to take this step.  I wish you had used this time to right some of the wrongs you inflicted on me and the company.  I was most grateful for the manner in which you held my company together over the period of my illness, and the kindness you showed me while I was in hospital.  I do not enjoy this process as you know I believe it takes me into a very negative energy space and the resultant conflict just ensures that everybody loses.  I would have preferred an amicable resolution and a parting in the same way that our business relationship began – in good faith. But I feel you have left me no choice: the aggressive and threatening manner and dishonesty you have displayed means I would be irresponsible and reckless to allow you back into my company in any way.


Trudy North

I am terribly nervous about tomorrow's confrontation.  I really don't know how he will respond.  Will he dig his heels in and refuse to leave the premises? Would I call the police if that happened? Will he go home and shoot himself? Will he call my buyers and do his best to scupper the deal we're busy negotiating between us?  Will he spill all my secrets about our personal relationship to everybody?

My shrink suggests I plan the conversation as a study in 'how a narcissist responds'.  I should try to record the conversation so I feel more distant and protected.  I'm not very good at protecting myself from him and I think he is going to deliver his wildest attack ever - either on me, or on my community.  I do not trust him to consider protecting me in any way.  Even though I deserve it.  Even though he owes me something for all the devastation he has wreaked on me, my body. My soul.  My instinct would be to protect.  His will be to rip me to pieces!

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