Sunday, 19 October 2014

Never Too Old to have your Heart Broken

I was watching a lovely movie on DSTV last night.  Was it called 'Under Tuscan Skies'?  Something like that.  A 30 something American woman has her heart broken by a cheating spouse and divorces him.  On a spontaneous trip to Italy to heal her heart, she suddenly decides to buy an old Tuscany Villa and start her new life there.  The  journey is all about Italy teaching her how to love herself again and find a new way to feel whole.  She repairs the old villa and brings it to life again as she, herself finds living again.

There is the loveliest vignette in the movie:
One of those sumptuous Italian dinners is being enjoyed by her and a whole family of Italians.  90-year-old Granma is beside herself with grief.  Anything anyone says triggers her weeping loudly at the dinner table.  The whole family rolls their eyes: "told you we shouldn't have brought her.  She'll ruin the whole dinner!".  Her late 40's son admonishes her in Italian.

And she responds "But my heart is broken".

He whispers an aside to  our American protagonist "Online dating.  He's in Ecuador. She eventually had to disclose her age'

"No Email" she weeps.

Gaah!  Wouldn't it be delightful if we could outgrow this stuff.  Waiting for the phone to ring at 16 just changes to waiting for the WhatsApp to be read at 45.  And replied to.

And when he doesn't?  Heartbreak city.

My lesson?  This is part of life.  Never mind the technology.  Allowing yourself to be vulnerable by putting yourself out there can be very rewarding or very painful.  I guess just moving through the pain and moving on is part of the road.

On a lighter note, my own Online Dating life suddenly took an interesting twist.  I messaged Berlin yesterday, just lightly saying I was in his neighborhoood to visit an art exhibition by one of my artist mates.  Predictably, he responded way after I had been and gone back to my side of town with a creative 'Huh?  When?".

My return was "Done and dusted. Now back home on couch watching chick flicks on TV." No answer.

Then suddenly this morning:

Berlin: "Hey you.  How  are you doing today?  On your way to Tasha's?" (my favourite Sunday morning coffee spot.

Me: "Yup.  I'm here already. Chilling. Reading the Sunday paper.  Drinking delicious coffee.  Such a gorgeous day, don't you think?"

Me: "What's your morning doing?  Come over.  I'll buy you a cup of coffee :). No pressure coffee".  I thought that would freak him out completely - he has made no effort to ever meet me so I was really just messing with him.  Anyway...

Berlin: "HaHa, I had the same idea (he did???WTF??!!!) but I promised my daughter 4-5 days ago to take her to the Lion and Rhino Park and she hasn't forgotten. So that's where I'm heading..."

Me: (after a long recovery moment) " HaHaaaa... I thought you'd be too chicken.  But the Lion Park is a valid alternative"

Berlin: "Hey you! Don't be cheeky.  No, we have to have that coffee or wine or whatever....Maybe next week sometime?"

Me: (after an even longer recovery moment where I try to scrape my jaw off  the table) "Sounds Lovely.  Let me know.  Have a beautiful day with your daughter".

Berlin: "Yep :) You too"

So now what.  Hmmm.  I think I'll wait for the invitation.  I have no intention of getting between a man and his wife if she is trying to reconcile  with him.  I'll suss out the territory and see where that's all at.  I am SO curious to see who's behind that online presence and if I would vaguely be attracted to him in real life.

Hmm.....  what to wear????

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