Tuesday, 4 November 2014

Rites of Passage

My oldest son has just got his final University results while I've been down on business here in Cape Town, which is where he's lived for the past 5 years. It's been a blessed 5 years - once I got over that typical mommy-separation thing - I have so enjoyed watching him grow into the clever, likable, competent man that he is. 5 years ago I helped him settle into his University Residence, and now, I spent time helping him pack up his digs and ship 5 years of acquired furniture back home. Now he's cruising around Cape town with his mates, celebrating the end of an era and enjoying the holiday he so richly deserves.

I'm so proud of the road he's walked. He has become so much of himself in this time and walks proudly in the world. He's passed his University Business Degree. Run the Rowing Club. Started a Business. Written most of a book.

Walking alongside this child of mine as he has moved through his life phases has been such a rewarding road. He grows away from me with every step, and yet we are creating an adult relationship that I think will be strong and rich forever. We like one another. We enjoy each other's thoughts and insights. We trust each other's instincts.

It was an important part of my own transformational journey that I asked him to get ona plane and come and care for me for a week when I was fresh out of hospital. I was in no position to negotiate the sale of my company, nor able to take on the emotional assaults that John-the-Narc was sending in my direction almost daily. In my mind, until that point, he was my son, and I his mother, and my role was to care for and enable him. And suddenly I needed his care. And I asked. And let him care. It was a huge moment for both of us.

Our relationship is forever changed because of that, and I am thrilled. I do think that he will be one of my closest friends going forward. Not because I'm a pathetic mom who needs to rely on her offspring because she can't look after herself, but rather because we see a road together where our diverse skills will benefit each other and the family we all want to protect and help flourish. Not to mention the businesses we could create together in our future!

Becoming the mother of an independent man. An important rite of passage for me!

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