Thursday, 13 November 2014

The Story our Dreams tell us

I have perfect psychologist dreams. Apparently it's a thing: the unconscious serves up a very rich and insightful dream to us a day or two before our next shrink appointment which give us all sorts of tools and metaphors to work through in our shrink sessions. Most of my significant dreams involve babies: sometimes horrific baby dreams, but that is a deep subject for a later blog when we know each other better.

Last night's dream was quite bizarre. Just to set the context, yesterday I connected with an old client on LinkedIn - we set up a coffee date to catch up next week. He's another high-powered businessman - the kind of guy I do enjoy professionally and personally. So he's in my dream.

We're lying in my mother's bed, naked, and he is making a halfhearted attempt to make love to me. It is nice and cozy, but not really sexy and passionate. Suddenly I realise my 11year old son has climbed into bed next to me on my side. I instantly move to block his vision of the man, and then get up with him to walk him back to his own room to put him to sleep. I'm gone so long, that when I get back to my mom's bed, my 'lover' has had to leave. But I realise he has written a long and beautiful farewell note on the sheet in ballpoint pen with a twirly kind of detail. I keep trying to read what he said, but I'm interrupted by all sorts of things. By the time I get to the sheet to read it, I realise the domestic worker has replaced it with a clean sheet and the message is gone.

Then I see that my home has been taken over by a sociopathic madman. It's full of people. There is nowhere for me to be. I know I need to leave to find help to get rid of these invaders - I can't fight them on my own. They're destroying the place as I watch. I have to leave my children behind as I flee for help. Of course I wake up before I find the help I need. And I never find my children.

Is the sociopathic madman my John-the-Narc? Am I playing out his attack on me and my company as displacing me from my home and safe place? So much so that I doubt my ability to protect my family through it? Is the 'help' I need the lawyers that will protect me and my family and help me evict him?

And what of the lover in my mother's bed?


I'll need a shrink to decode this one I think. I await my Tuesday session with curiosity...

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